Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I had a request from a fellow blogger to tell about transitioned from married person to my current relationship. I have been reading his blog, http://incongruent-affect.blogspot.com/. It is made up of several bloggers who are friends/family. It is entertaining (although, I must admit skipping the extensive posts on sports) and has posts on a variety of topics from TV to political events. Check out the June 2005 archives for several posts about the craziness of Tom Cruise and Scientologist. I went to www.xenu.net. It is an anti-Scientology website with some very compelling information.
I married X nine years ago when I was pregnant with K. It was karma kicking my ass for saying at age 19:
"Only a dumb ass gets married while they are pregnant. She looks miserable"
So, three years later I was the one looking fat and miserable while my whole family and all my friends were getting drunk at my wedding. I believed I was doing the right thing and that I was making a vow "until death do us part". However, I also locked my keys in my car three times (once while it was running), changed my last name, and took a job a Piccadilly restaurant while I was pregnant. I maintain to this day that pregnancy impairs one's judgment and all major life decisions should be made 1 year after the baby is born.
When, I met X he knew that I was bisexual. In fact, we met because this girl wanted to sleep with both of us. He encouraged me to pursue relationships with woman. We talked about polyamory. He felt that I could have a romantic/sexual relationship with a woman, but not another man. We had several discussions about this over the years. I never really explored any other relationships because we never agreed on the rules on how to handle other relationships.
I met J during my second-to-last clinical rotation in pharmacy school. She was doing inpatient psychiatry at the VA. I was doing my psychiatric pharmacy rotation. During the second day of rotation, she mentioned her ex-girlfriend, her work on the Howard Dean campaign, and the UU church in Washington D.C. I knew that I wanted to get to know her since it is not often that I meet someone with so much in common with me. We began hanging out, getting to know each other, watching the L word, and eating out together. I remember feeling like I was out on a date particularly the first time we went out to eat together. We went to a Lebanese restaurant that I love. J tried many new things at that restaurant (to impress me) that she will never eat again.
Meanwhile, X and I had been struggling over how we were going to deal with 2 new careers. He lived in D.C. and wanted me to move there. He even started hunting for houses. I was uneasy about moving far from my friends and family, starting a new career, and trying to save a failing marriage. I decided that a move would be too much of a strain on me and K.
I planned a trip to Washington D.C. at the end of my final rotation to participated in the March to Save Women's Lives. J invited herself to go with me. She will tell you that she did not invite herself, but this is my blog and I will tell the story as I remember it. We drove through Durham to pick up friends. We forced our friends to ride from Durham to D.C. together so they could get to know each better. Actually, I think it was part of J's plan to seduce me. We stayed with X and his roommates. He asked me about my relationship with J. I told him she wasn't interested in me (I can be totally clueless at times).
It was the ride home when J turned up the charm. We had picked up K in Washington. He had been traveling with his grandparents for spring break. He had diarrhea and we had a long drive home. She taught him how to swallow a pill by telling him it was like a minnow swimming down his throat. We left late in the afternoon from D.C. and it is an eight hour drive from here. She got sleepy, as she usually does on trips. Then, I got sleepy. She started to rub the back of my neck and my hair to help me stay awake. It helped me wake up and made me want to kiss her desperately. The rest of the details are between J and I. :)
I was seduced, willingly and totally. I fell in love her that night/morning. I naively thought that I could maintain a relationship with J and X. It did not work. I wish that I had ended my relationship with X before beginning one with J. It would have spared all of us some of the pain.
I don't regret for one second leaving X. Our marriage was over. We were both fighting to control each others lives and futures. All we were successfully doing was beating the shit out of each other. J and I fight at times, but it is not a power struggle. Since she is a psychiatrist, we always resolve the argument before bedtime.
I love her more than I thought possible. We are two peas in a pod.
I married X nine years ago when I was pregnant with K. It was karma kicking my ass for saying at age 19:
"Only a dumb ass gets married while they are pregnant. She looks miserable"
So, three years later I was the one looking fat and miserable while my whole family and all my friends were getting drunk at my wedding. I believed I was doing the right thing and that I was making a vow "until death do us part". However, I also locked my keys in my car three times (once while it was running), changed my last name, and took a job a Piccadilly restaurant while I was pregnant. I maintain to this day that pregnancy impairs one's judgment and all major life decisions should be made 1 year after the baby is born.
When, I met X he knew that I was bisexual. In fact, we met because this girl wanted to sleep with both of us. He encouraged me to pursue relationships with woman. We talked about polyamory. He felt that I could have a romantic/sexual relationship with a woman, but not another man. We had several discussions about this over the years. I never really explored any other relationships because we never agreed on the rules on how to handle other relationships.
I met J during my second-to-last clinical rotation in pharmacy school. She was doing inpatient psychiatry at the VA. I was doing my psychiatric pharmacy rotation. During the second day of rotation, she mentioned her ex-girlfriend, her work on the Howard Dean campaign, and the UU church in Washington D.C. I knew that I wanted to get to know her since it is not often that I meet someone with so much in common with me. We began hanging out, getting to know each other, watching the L word, and eating out together. I remember feeling like I was out on a date particularly the first time we went out to eat together. We went to a Lebanese restaurant that I love. J tried many new things at that restaurant (to impress me) that she will never eat again.
Meanwhile, X and I had been struggling over how we were going to deal with 2 new careers. He lived in D.C. and wanted me to move there. He even started hunting for houses. I was uneasy about moving far from my friends and family, starting a new career, and trying to save a failing marriage. I decided that a move would be too much of a strain on me and K.
I planned a trip to Washington D.C. at the end of my final rotation to participated in the March to Save Women's Lives. J invited herself to go with me. She will tell you that she did not invite herself, but this is my blog and I will tell the story as I remember it. We drove through Durham to pick up friends. We forced our friends to ride from Durham to D.C. together so they could get to know each better. Actually, I think it was part of J's plan to seduce me. We stayed with X and his roommates. He asked me about my relationship with J. I told him she wasn't interested in me (I can be totally clueless at times).
It was the ride home when J turned up the charm. We had picked up K in Washington. He had been traveling with his grandparents for spring break. He had diarrhea and we had a long drive home. She taught him how to swallow a pill by telling him it was like a minnow swimming down his throat. We left late in the afternoon from D.C. and it is an eight hour drive from here. She got sleepy, as she usually does on trips. Then, I got sleepy. She started to rub the back of my neck and my hair to help me stay awake. It helped me wake up and made me want to kiss her desperately. The rest of the details are between J and I. :)
I was seduced, willingly and totally. I fell in love her that night/morning. I naively thought that I could maintain a relationship with J and X. It did not work. I wish that I had ended my relationship with X before beginning one with J. It would have spared all of us some of the pain.
I don't regret for one second leaving X. Our marriage was over. We were both fighting to control each others lives and futures. All we were successfully doing was beating the shit out of each other. J and I fight at times, but it is not a power struggle. Since she is a psychiatrist, we always resolve the argument before bedtime.
I love her more than I thought possible. We are two peas in a pod.
# posted by Dawn @ 1:15 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Thanks for the explanation. I very vaguely knew some of it, but there were some things I wasn't sure about.
As far as the blog goes check it out periodically and wade through the sports. Sometimes, we have some "heated" movie discussions you may be interested in. Or other threads that only a collection of geeks like us can come up with.
As far as the blog goes check it out periodically and wade through the sports. Sometimes, we have some "heated" movie discussions you may be interested in. Or other threads that only a collection of geeks like us can come up with.
here is where two people have different stories and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. i was wanting to go to DC but didn't want to go by myself. when i found out she was going i asked if it was okay to join. she could have said no. i don't know how to seduce anybody so none of the rest was conscious but i do agree i wish the relationship had been over with X before and that was my biggest hangup. otherwise great post :)
# posted by 
: 3:58 AM
: 3:58 AM
J also says that she doesn't know how to flirt. She is a natural flirt and often doesn't realize when she is doing. Same thing with her seduction talents.
Post a Comment
<< Home
