Saturday, July 15, 2006
Shame spiral*
I have been a bad blogger. Every time I think about how I need to blog, I remember how long it has been since I have written. Then, I collapse into a spiral of shame and still don't write. *The shame spiral is something my friend JJ from pharmacy school taught me about.
What's going on? Well, June was a scary month. We were down by 11 prescriptions. I started taking medication for my anxiety. It was helping, but I was not at the optimum dose. So on the advice of my doctor, I increased the dose twice over a two week period. After the first increase, everything was great. That week I was calmer, more focused, and definitely more productive. The second increase was a mistake. I took the higher dose for 5 days. I felt like I was having a constant panic attack. I did not sleep well. The worst effect was the akathisia. Akathisia is a feeling of internal restlessness. My muscles want to jerk and move repetitively. I needed to pace around the pharmacy all day. I want to drink alcohol all day. I was getting very little work completed. I had no idea what was going on and described the feelings to JP. She immediately recognized that my dose was too high. I reduced my dose and two days later I felt the same. The medication I am taking has a very long half-life (it stays around in the body for a long time). I finally stop taking it all together. It still took 5 days to feel normal again. I truly felt like I was going crazy. I started the medication at the lowest dose on Wednesday (with some trepidation) and I am feeling great.
July has been great so far. I put flyers out and several new families have moved in. I have done 20 or more prescriptions every day and 10 or more on Saturdays. We having a blood drive next week. Lake Carolina has signed a contract with a family practice doctor. Things are looking up.
What's going on? Well, June was a scary month. We were down by 11 prescriptions. I started taking medication for my anxiety. It was helping, but I was not at the optimum dose. So on the advice of my doctor, I increased the dose twice over a two week period. After the first increase, everything was great. That week I was calmer, more focused, and definitely more productive. The second increase was a mistake. I took the higher dose for 5 days. I felt like I was having a constant panic attack. I did not sleep well. The worst effect was the akathisia. Akathisia is a feeling of internal restlessness. My muscles want to jerk and move repetitively. I needed to pace around the pharmacy all day. I want to drink alcohol all day. I was getting very little work completed. I had no idea what was going on and described the feelings to JP. She immediately recognized that my dose was too high. I reduced my dose and two days later I felt the same. The medication I am taking has a very long half-life (it stays around in the body for a long time). I finally stop taking it all together. It still took 5 days to feel normal again. I truly felt like I was going crazy. I started the medication at the lowest dose on Wednesday (with some trepidation) and I am feeling great.
July has been great so far. I put flyers out and several new families have moved in. I have done 20 or more prescriptions every day and 10 or more on Saturdays. We having a blood drive next week. Lake Carolina has signed a contract with a family practice doctor. Things are looking up.
